Book 8: Tomorrow I Become a Woman by Aiwanose Odafen
I'm always intrigued when I read about marriages where one of the spouses is abused and unhappy which is most often the woman. I'm worried and can't believe that she chooses to stay, that she allows herself to suffer humiliation and pain again. Over time, I've come to understand where they stand and also come from that has hindered them from breaking free from that abusive man and relationship.
Recently, I've been more intrigued by men, how do you live in a marriage for so long where your partner is unhappy, how do you, again and again, have intercourse with a woman who's uninterested and not full of love and awe for you? Marriage shouldn't be fulfilling for you until you can make your wife happy and satisfied, ensure that she's not distraught or filled with resentment that marriage has halted her life and dreams.
How are they fine, okay, that the person they call spouse is only full of fear for them, never having proper conversations with them? How do people live that way, I can't make sense of it.
It’s the same way, I’ 'm surprised by Gozie, A lot of people do mean things but it shouldn’t be educated people. Gozie goes from the responsible and charming choir director loved by all ladies to a terrible husband to Ugo.
Aiwanose writes Tomorrow I Become a Woman to mirror the harsh reality women face on account of their gender, they are trodden down, shut down and expected to take abuse without complaining and never have a voice of their own.
It’s shocking to see how bad it was at that time and the sad reality that it still happens even now. It’s disappointing to see the protagonist Ugo and her friends Ada and Chinelo despite their education acquiesce to the trampling of their rights and women generally as the way things are.
Ugo’s mother is the traditional mom who forces her daughter to do things her way in the same vein making marriage appear as the sole purpose of her life, hence the need to prepare herself and live in a way that would please a man to take her as a wife and if she doesn’t like Sally Ugo’s carefree college friend will say, “she has failed to fulfil her purpose on earth”.
Her mother suffered and endured maltreatment, abandonment and being ignored by her husband and expects her daughter to endure the same, these aren’t good enough reasons to leave a husband, as all men are the same.
Tribal barriers are why Ugo doesn’t consider Akin who has always been there and is also a better man than Gozie, and it seems like they still have a chance after she’s divorced from Gozie and Akin comes back to Nigeria.
It was delightful to finally see Ugo rise out of her slumber and fight for herself and her children.
It’s a pretty good book, I’d give it 3 stars.